Lately, I've been really thinking. Thinking about how much people really annoy me. Granted, I annoy people on a daily basis I'm sure, but you know how that goes; you really don't care about your actions, but rather others' actions. Hypocrisy at it's most overt and covert moment simultaneously existing.
Whatever, here's my vent/rant time!
I have lots of "friends", "associates", whatever: people I know and people who know me. To be quite frank, sometimes I can delete some of them out my life and start all over again. Why? Because they say some pretty questionable below-the-belt sort of things. For example, I was talking to one of my "friends" recently. We've been friends since our freshman year in college (2005)--we've known each other for a little while now. You know what this good-for-nothing guy said to me as I was talking about my life issues??--He had the NERVE to say, "Yea, yea Jay, like your problems are worse than everyone elses." When I heard that I was like, "I know this insensitive....I know this boy ain't just try me like that!!"
Later on this week I saw a facebook status from another friend. She said something along the lines of, "not everyone who is WITH you is FOR you" and it got me thinkin'....granted, this has always been my motto for friends and life but it still made me question some of my friendships and how ** I ** feel about them. Am I being real when something good happens to them? Am I bad mouthing them right after I talk to them? Do I really care about this person? Then I thought, what about others? Then I looked at it from another perspective: Are my friend really happy for me when something good happens to me? Are they bad mouthing me when we finish talking? Do they care about me?? Hmmm....
I have another friend she can be very...stuck up...wait a better colloquial term, "acting brand new", lol. In this "stuck upness", lol, she has a tendency to act like she has money, when she really doesn't. Truly if she did, she wouldn't have to take out student loans. If she did, she'd be driving a fully functional car (which she's not)...But I digress.. Back to the story: Before, I didn't notice it until she herself pointed it out, lol. Ironic, right? After a while it started to annoy me and me a my rude self never passes up an opportunity to pass a slick remark her way, lol. Anyway, I was talking to her today; she was talking about having a pricey dinner party, that in my opinion she can't afford, but who am I to metal in someones financial business?? lol. I'm Jay, and imma metal in it anyway :)So anyway I said something slick, something like, "I hope you big ballin'" (Translation: I hope you have the money) and she said something along the lines of "your just jealous because...." her tone was a bit facetious, but her message intended sure got across...surely ya' girl wasn't gonna let that pass and I responded "I'm sorry I don't spend money I don't have like you do ;)" Yes, not exactly the most Christ-like thing to say, but sometimes I just can't help it. The point: It's annoying, and I am I truly her friend? I mean, I'm not jealous--actually I'm nowhere near jealous, I'm more intelligent and more witty--money doesn't define my identity. period. I mean love her to death, if anything were to happen to her there is no doubt in my mind that I'd be balling my poor eyes out. But sometimes I just wonder.
Maybe it's just me. I guess I'm just thinking about all this stuff because I have waay too much time on my hands or not enough time on my hands to form new friendships to distract me from thinking about it.
Well, there's my rant. Uncensored.
~Jay
No comments:
Post a Comment