Have you ever felt like you were just existing and not living? For a long while, I was just existing.
Several years ago, I lost a friend in a car accident; she was only 21. She was on her way to a birthday celebration with some friends. A bad decision was made behind the wheel and she was gone forever. When I first heard the news I was hurt, but for the most part I was "okay". I used bible scriptures to console my hurting heart and to make sense of the news. In retrospect, I was reasoning myself out of the pain and realities of death and my eventual demise. Her death affected me far deeper than I would have imaged. It forced me to face the reality that I can die at any given moment.
I began to question God. I asked Him, what's the point of working so hard if you're going die any way? There were so many questions and no answers. I was up at all hours of the night just thinking. My days were long and I stopped enjoying life and what it had to offer...I was just...existing. I went to work, church, then home. Nightly, I micro-focused in on my purpose and my person. I had almost lost myself in this horrible cycle. Suddenly, nothing mattered and I was confused. I lacked focus and drive. I was uninspired.
In my stupor late one night, I started this blog. I thought, maybe if I express myself to an audience of some sort I would feel much better. Here I am years later; it was a great idea, I do feel better. And I'm feeling like myself again. Six years, 2 careers, 1 car, 1 apartment and 1 husband later, I am enjoying life again. I often stop to smell the roses. Every day I choose to be happy and I choose to do better than the previous day. Every day I choose LIFE.
Life is so short and so precious. You can lose everything in an instant. Choose LIFE everyday. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Inspirationally yours,
Ms. Jay
Selah.
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