Choose Life -- Feeling like myself again

Have you ever felt like you were just existing and not living? For a long while, I was just existing.

Several years ago, I lost a friend in a car accident; she was only 21. She was on her way to a birthday celebration with some friends. A bad decision was made behind the wheel and she was gone forever.  When I first heard the news I was hurt, but for the most part I was "okay".  I used bible scriptures to console my hurting heart and to make sense of the news. In retrospect, I was reasoning myself out of the pain and realities of death and my eventual demise.  Her death affected me far deeper than I would have imaged. It forced me to face the reality that I can die at any given moment.

I began to question God. I asked Him, what's the point of working so hard if you're going die any way?  There were so many questions and no answers. I was up at all hours of the night just thinking. My days were long and I stopped enjoying life and what it had to offer...I was just...existing. I went to work, church, then home. Nightly, I micro-focused in on my purpose and my person. I had almost lost myself in this horrible cycle. Suddenly, nothing mattered and I was confused. I lacked focus and drive. I was uninspired.

In my stupor late one night, I started this blog. I thought, maybe if I express myself to an audience of some sort I would feel much better. Here I am years later; it was a great idea, I do feel better. And I'm feeling like myself again. Six years, 2 careers, 1 car, 1 apartment and 1 husband later, I am enjoying life again. I often stop to smell the roses. Every day I choose to be happy and I choose to do better than the previous day. Every day I choose LIFE.

Life is so short and so precious. You can lose everything in an instant. Choose LIFE everyday. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Inspirationally yours,

Ms. Jay

Selah.

People with degrees think they know it all...

Hi folks!

Here's another one for you to think about.

So, I've entered my second year of teaching and what a roller coaster it's been! I've had some interesting experiences, but that's for a later post.

Let's talk, shall we?

I work around some incredibly intelligent people who have degrees. They discuss things like news, culture, race, politics, and other obscure information that the normal blue collar worker wouldn't care about. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but  they make fun of people who are ignorant to the subjects. I mean really? How can "what you know" make you feel more of a person than someone who doesn't know what you know?

 So here's the kicker folks, they complain about how BROKE they are  and  how teachers are grossly overworked and  underpaid and do absolutely nothing about it. You might be wondering why this is the kicker. Let's think through this..here are my thoughts as I sit silently eating my lunch in the teacher's lounge,  "Well, if you're so "smart" and you're so "broke", then why not use your "smarts" to help you not to be broke. I mean you have time to discuss culture and make fun of people who are ignorant to what you think is common information.."

 Clearly these people are comfortable competing in the rat race orr they're not *that* smart after all. :)
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You know, I used to be like those people. I would stuff my head with all this knowledge and think I was better than everyone else who was ignorant. I too, would make fun of people who didn't know, what I thought was basic knowledge. I even went as far as to think that if I had a degree aka if I was really "smart" I would get a  good job and have a nice house with the white picket fence and a dog...you know, the  "American Dream". Then I looked at my bank statements and credit score and realized I am just as broke and destitute as the person I made fun of.

So, then, what does that tell you? These days appreciating the language from classic literature  like "The Aeneid" by Virgil and knowing the meaning of "coup d'etat" simply doesn't matter. Let's face it, we go to college so that we can have a better opportunity to make money. To make money though, requires much more than just knowing random pieces of information.  It requires some good ol' common sense, peoeple sense and some financial know how.

What's my point? People with degrees don't know everything and certainly they aren't rich. Don't ever let someone with a degree make you fell like less of a person. Let's be real here they probably owe enough money for their children's children to pay off and are probably unhappy. Clearly, people with degree don't know it all because if they did, they wouldn't be broke.

Thoughtfully Yours,
Ms. Jay

Let's Talk.... Marriage?

I know, you might be thinking, "Marriage? Who's getting married?!". Well, yours truly, Ms. Jay. I am please to announce that on March 23, 2014 I will be getting married to the love of my life, Mr. Clarke. These days my posts are quite sporadic and rather sparse, but I promise it's for good reason. I've been spending time  building, planning, and figuring  out some things in my life. As I compare my past to my present, I see that God has been doing wonders.  Within a short 2 1/2 years, not only am I getting married, but I am now a middle school math teacher, I have my own place, and a car. Now, this might sound small, but for me this is huge! What  a  mighty God I serve!

I'll leave you with this: 

No matter how much life gets tough, just know that God is sovereign, and He knows what He's doing. You've gotta be able to trust him though. A few months ago, I went digging through past posts and found a one that I felt like re-reading. At the end of the post I wrote, "One day, I'm going to look back at this post and smile." You know what, I not only smiled but I cried tears of joy because I now have victory over that difficult place in my life. I noticed something though, all the while, I had hope. And that's what makes the difference. Keep your hope with you because in the end that's all that will carry you through. 

Love always, 

Ms. Jay

                

The "Soon to Be" Clarke's