GeezeImHungry for
Life
Jesus
Chicken Wings
Companionship
A JOB
Freedom
Talent
Unleashed Potential
Love
Friendship
Learning
God
Spiritual Desire
What are you hungry for?
~Jay
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Talk with mom..a piece
I recently had a conversation with my mother. As usual she had her random pieces of gossip to share with me, in confidence of course, lol. It was about a young lady that we know who got married, had a child and bascially "let herself go". LoL. What I mean is that, before she was married, she was super hot. She dressed to impress all the time and was radient. Then she got married and had a kid. Now she's super cold, lol. I'm not saying this to put her down at all. I say this to draw reference to myself and how I myself have "let myself go". Not physically, but mentally and spiritually. SMH
~Jay
~Jay
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Not my Momma's Religion. Or is it?
Currently Listening to: Jennifer Howland's "Righteous Revolution" A song about new life in Christ.
Not my momma's religion. Or is it?
Lately, I've been really questioning my salvation. Truly at this point it is suspect and could be categorized as borderline backsliding.. ::Question Mark Look:: Yea, I know. People who know me in real life may see me as the "All Mighty Holy One". Nothing could be further from the truth. Just because I know and quote scripture doesn't mean that I am exempt from moral deprivation. Like most people, stray and do wrong.
My Back Story
Like many children in the U.S. I was born into Christianity. I knew that Sunday was the day for church, and it was important for me to pray and read my bible. I knew if I had sex before I was married I was a social outlier and God help me if I got pregnant out of wedlock. I knew it wasn't ok to lie, cheat, or steal. Wearing tight fitted clothes was next to blasphemy. Using derogatory language on church grounds warranted a Scarlet Letter. And let's not forget the issue of secular music. If it ain't say, "Jesus", "Son of God" or "Hallelujah", you could pretty much forget about it.
I must admit though, I was trained well. When I went off to college I didn't take advantage my freedom and turn into a wild child. For all 3 1/2 years, I was pretty much straight necked. My behavior after graduation however, when everything in my life went wrong, could totally be called to questioning.
Current:
My behavior can still be called to questioning. I keep wondering why I fell so hard and never got back up. As I listened to the words of the song, "Righteous Revolution" a paradigm began to draw in my thoughts: Before you find Christ: You were morally lost and thus broke all the rules. After you found Christ: You're holy, set a part and no longer participate in the immoral behaviors of the rest of the world. Although for all my life I considered myself "morally found", I can't say that my life mirrored the aforementioned paradigm. Simple. There was no particular line of demarcation that indicated the exact moment I found Christ. Why? Because I was raised in the Christian culture, it's all I knew. It wasn't like I was some outsider, that didn't know better. No, I was an inny, and I was in deep. It was in fact, my Momma's Religion.
Really, I thought I had this whole Christian thing figured out. I mean, it was my Momma's religion which I did make my own. I knew the Word, I could quote it and defend it. I understood that we are saved my Grace alone and not by any good deeds. I've been there. I felt the presence of the Lord. God has spoken to me and through me. I've danced like David, naked. I've understood that God placed me here for..Such a time as this..... Then why can't I get back up? Perhaps my life is a reflection of the great King Solomon, harvesting all the wisdom but still broken. Or maybe Moses, stubborn, and not eloquent in speech reluctant to be the light for the lost ones. Maybe I'm still stuck under the umbrella of Momma's Religion.
Easter is coming up. To be honest with you, I'm I don't want to go to church. For some reason, at this point, I feel inadequate and fake. I am a poor representation of Christ. Going to church will just make those feelings even more apparent. Perhaps I should go and re-read those bible stories I was once familiar with, take a page from each character's life story and be encouraged. Lord knows I'm tired of this cycle. I just wanna be ok. But I have full confidence that My God can cure the AIDS of the spirit and any ailment of the spirit. C'mon Jesus, I need your antibiotics! I need that Righteous Revolution! Speaking Redemption over my life. #Redeemed
~Jay
For your enjoyment, Lyrics below
All songs published by Lion of Zion Music (BMI) unless otherwise noted.
"RIGHTEOUS REVOLUTION (Feat. Monty G and Solomon Jabby)" Lyrics:
Written by Mark Mohr, Solomon Jabby, Jennifer Howland and Monty G. Music by Solomon Jabby and Mark Mohr
What the youth wants is a righteous revolution, ey yeah
What the youth wants is a righteous solution
Righteous revolution, righteous revolution
Listen sister say you must understand
You don’t know me so you can't comprehend
That what I am it is not who I used to be, ooh yeah!
And listen Mister say you don't understand
That this is not a game and me nah play pretend
And what I am it is not who I used to be, yeah!
CHORUS:
Righteous revolution
Let me hear my brothers and my sisters say
Righteous revolution
Let me introduce myself
So the world knows
I'm not playing games with my soul
Introduce myself
I ain't swaying back and forth
I ain't gonna compromise no more
What the youth wants is a righteous revolution, ey yeah
What the youth want is a righteous solution
See it ya? Me nah there asleep no longer
True we go serve the Father
From me realize say
Christ Him ah the Living Water
True we bigger and we broader
Righteousness ah di order
Revolution de pon we border-Boom!
From we turn from sin and we nah go back
True we did dangerous like a heart attack
True Christ Him change we and we proud of that
Forward we a trod and we nah dress back
(CHORUS)
Let me introduce myself
So the world knows
I'm not playing games with my soul
Introduce myself
I ain't swaying back and forth
I ain't gonna compromise no more
Introduce Myself
Hey, and now you know just where I’m coming from
Introduce Myself
I've been changed and now I am a new creation
We want the whole world to see it ya
True me is a new creature
We did wrap up in a sin like
Meat up in a pita
Salvation could not sweeter
Now we a read Peter
And we start fi preach so a now them call me preacher
You can hear the Word of God
We make it flow right through the speaker
The humble to the meek ya
Stronger to the weak ya
We come fi make them know say
I you want love come see it ya
Live for Jesus and stop die up in a the streets ya
(CHORUS)
I'm not playing, I've been changed
Ever since I called on Jesus name
Like a butterfly wrapped up inside
I spread my wings now I can fly!
And we make the whole world see it there
Fly!
What the youth wants is a righteous revolution
Bang ditty deng bong bitty deng
What the youth wants is a righteous solution
Source for Lyrics: http://www.jenniferhowland.com/christafari/lyrics.html
Not my momma's religion. Or is it?
Lately, I've been really questioning my salvation. Truly at this point it is suspect and could be categorized as borderline backsliding.. ::Question Mark Look:: Yea, I know. People who know me in real life may see me as the "All Mighty Holy One". Nothing could be further from the truth. Just because I know and quote scripture doesn't mean that I am exempt from moral deprivation. Like most people, stray and do wrong.
My Back Story
Like many children in the U.S. I was born into Christianity. I knew that Sunday was the day for church, and it was important for me to pray and read my bible. I knew if I had sex before I was married I was a social outlier and God help me if I got pregnant out of wedlock. I knew it wasn't ok to lie, cheat, or steal. Wearing tight fitted clothes was next to blasphemy. Using derogatory language on church grounds warranted a Scarlet Letter. And let's not forget the issue of secular music. If it ain't say, "Jesus", "Son of God" or "Hallelujah", you could pretty much forget about it.
I must admit though, I was trained well. When I went off to college I didn't take advantage my freedom and turn into a wild child. For all 3 1/2 years, I was pretty much straight necked. My behavior after graduation however, when everything in my life went wrong, could totally be called to questioning.
Current:
My behavior can still be called to questioning. I keep wondering why I fell so hard and never got back up. As I listened to the words of the song, "Righteous Revolution" a paradigm began to draw in my thoughts: Before you find Christ: You were morally lost and thus broke all the rules. After you found Christ: You're holy, set a part and no longer participate in the immoral behaviors of the rest of the world. Although for all my life I considered myself "morally found", I can't say that my life mirrored the aforementioned paradigm. Simple. There was no particular line of demarcation that indicated the exact moment I found Christ. Why? Because I was raised in the Christian culture, it's all I knew. It wasn't like I was some outsider, that didn't know better. No, I was an inny, and I was in deep. It was in fact, my Momma's Religion.
Really, I thought I had this whole Christian thing figured out. I mean, it was my Momma's religion which I did make my own. I knew the Word, I could quote it and defend it. I understood that we are saved my Grace alone and not by any good deeds. I've been there. I felt the presence of the Lord. God has spoken to me and through me. I've danced like David, naked. I've understood that God placed me here for..Such a time as this..... Then why can't I get back up? Perhaps my life is a reflection of the great King Solomon, harvesting all the wisdom but still broken. Or maybe Moses, stubborn, and not eloquent in speech reluctant to be the light for the lost ones. Maybe I'm still stuck under the umbrella of Momma's Religion.
Easter is coming up. To be honest with you, I'm I don't want to go to church. For some reason, at this point, I feel inadequate and fake. I am a poor representation of Christ. Going to church will just make those feelings even more apparent. Perhaps I should go and re-read those bible stories I was once familiar with, take a page from each character's life story and be encouraged. Lord knows I'm tired of this cycle. I just wanna be ok. But I have full confidence that My God can cure the AIDS of the spirit and any ailment of the spirit. C'mon Jesus, I need your antibiotics! I need that Righteous Revolution! Speaking Redemption over my life. #Redeemed
~Jay
For your enjoyment, Lyrics below
All songs published by Lion of Zion Music (BMI) unless otherwise noted.
"RIGHTEOUS REVOLUTION (Feat. Monty G and Solomon Jabby)" Lyrics:
Written by Mark Mohr, Solomon Jabby, Jennifer Howland and Monty G. Music by Solomon Jabby and Mark Mohr
What the youth wants is a righteous revolution, ey yeah
What the youth wants is a righteous solution
Righteous revolution, righteous revolution
Listen sister say you must understand
You don’t know me so you can't comprehend
That what I am it is not who I used to be, ooh yeah!
And listen Mister say you don't understand
That this is not a game and me nah play pretend
And what I am it is not who I used to be, yeah!
CHORUS:
Righteous revolution
Let me hear my brothers and my sisters say
Righteous revolution
Let me introduce myself
So the world knows
I'm not playing games with my soul
Introduce myself
I ain't swaying back and forth
I ain't gonna compromise no more
What the youth wants is a righteous revolution, ey yeah
What the youth want is a righteous solution
See it ya? Me nah there asleep no longer
True we go serve the Father
From me realize say
Christ Him ah the Living Water
True we bigger and we broader
Righteousness ah di order
Revolution de pon we border-Boom!
From we turn from sin and we nah go back
True we did dangerous like a heart attack
True Christ Him change we and we proud of that
Forward we a trod and we nah dress back
(CHORUS)
Let me introduce myself
So the world knows
I'm not playing games with my soul
Introduce myself
I ain't swaying back and forth
I ain't gonna compromise no more
Introduce Myself
Hey, and now you know just where I’m coming from
Introduce Myself
I've been changed and now I am a new creation
We want the whole world to see it ya
True me is a new creature
We did wrap up in a sin like
Meat up in a pita
Salvation could not sweeter
Now we a read Peter
And we start fi preach so a now them call me preacher
You can hear the Word of God
We make it flow right through the speaker
The humble to the meek ya
Stronger to the weak ya
We come fi make them know say
I you want love come see it ya
Live for Jesus and stop die up in a the streets ya
(CHORUS)
I'm not playing, I've been changed
Ever since I called on Jesus name
Like a butterfly wrapped up inside
I spread my wings now I can fly!
And we make the whole world see it there
Fly!
What the youth wants is a righteous revolution
Bang ditty deng bong bitty deng
What the youth wants is a righteous solution
Source for Lyrics: http://www.jenniferhowland.com/christafari/lyrics.html
Monday, April 18, 2011
Today's Check in/Random Thoughts
Hey everyone! :o)
Today was cool. I had a rocky beginning and a rather mellow ending which equals to an ok day. Today I had to do an oil change on my car, that was interesting. Why? Because my younger brother who is 3 years younger than me was my mouth peice and my father...well let's just say he was in cell phone land giving commmands and demands, lol. Gotta love that island militant mentality. <3
Afterwards I ran some errands: gas, groceries, and ran to the mall to pick up a few things.
TweetThought: As I walked around the stores in the mall today and practiced self control by not buying anything, In that moment I realized just how broke I was. Who can't spend $100 bucks on themselves once in a while?? Well, me. I mean sometimes I feel bad about it, but then I think about all the money I owe in student loans and the like. Then it makes sense. Sacrifice and Self Discipline is the name of the game. So far, so good. I have been able to pay down about $3000 bucks. It's a small portion, but I have been making progress nonetheless. I'm proud of that! :o)
All in all my day was ok.
Bless loved ones!
~Jay
Today was cool. I had a rocky beginning and a rather mellow ending which equals to an ok day. Today I had to do an oil change on my car, that was interesting. Why? Because my younger brother who is 3 years younger than me was my mouth peice and my father...well let's just say he was in cell phone land giving commmands and demands, lol. Gotta love that island militant mentality. <3
Afterwards I ran some errands: gas, groceries, and ran to the mall to pick up a few things.
TweetThought: As I walked around the stores in the mall today and practiced self control by not buying anything, In that moment I realized just how broke I was. Who can't spend $100 bucks on themselves once in a while?? Well, me. I mean sometimes I feel bad about it, but then I think about all the money I owe in student loans and the like. Then it makes sense. Sacrifice and Self Discipline is the name of the game. So far, so good. I have been able to pay down about $3000 bucks. It's a small portion, but I have been making progress nonetheless. I'm proud of that! :o)
All in all my day was ok.
Bless loved ones!
~Jay
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Two Years and Counting..
Hey Guys!
Today was rather uneventful. To be honest with you, I pathetically wallowed in my shortcomings, sorrows, and failures. Why? I guess it's because it was one of those days. Currently my vehicle is out of commission and hence my current job. Lucky for me though, my boss isn't a straight-necked, power hungry monster.
For a majority of the day I tried to drown out negative thoughts with idle chatter with a friend via Skype while perusing movie titles on Netflix. I bounce back and forth between Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, eventually becoming mentally drained.
I soon found myself sitting on the edge my bed searching this old discolored royal blue carpet of mine for only Lord knows what. As my thoughts ping ponged its inner prison, my eyes had bucked into my corner of junk which reminded me I had photos that needed to be placed in photo albums eons ago. Ah, ha! I had found another way to escape my thoughts.
At that moment I decided to finally put the photo album together. What an adventure it turned out to be. To be quite honest it was a joy to take a walk down memory lane. I surfed through birthday memories and graduations, impromptu trips and random and rather memorable moments. Some pictures evoked pure bliss while some evoked unwanted feelings of discontentment and disappointment.
Overall, it was a rather animated nostalgic moment. I found myself engulfed in the memories and longing to revisit that season of my life; I have yet to close those chapters of my life..at least, that's what I found.
Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so sensitive and stubborn. If I weren't, I think I would be building fun and exciting memories right as I speak. C'est La Vie. One day I will be happy again, one day I will look back on this blog post and smile.
Praying that I let go of the past, and press forth toward the future. Feeling really defeated today.
~Jay
Today was rather uneventful. To be honest with you, I pathetically wallowed in my shortcomings, sorrows, and failures. Why? I guess it's because it was one of those days. Currently my vehicle is out of commission and hence my current job. Lucky for me though, my boss isn't a straight-necked, power hungry monster.
For a majority of the day I tried to drown out negative thoughts with idle chatter with a friend via Skype while perusing movie titles on Netflix. I bounce back and forth between Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, eventually becoming mentally drained.
I soon found myself sitting on the edge my bed searching this old discolored royal blue carpet of mine for only Lord knows what. As my thoughts ping ponged its inner prison, my eyes had bucked into my corner of junk which reminded me I had photos that needed to be placed in photo albums eons ago. Ah, ha! I had found another way to escape my thoughts.
At that moment I decided to finally put the photo album together. What an adventure it turned out to be. To be quite honest it was a joy to take a walk down memory lane. I surfed through birthday memories and graduations, impromptu trips and random and rather memorable moments. Some pictures evoked pure bliss while some evoked unwanted feelings of discontentment and disappointment.
Overall, it was a rather animated nostalgic moment. I found myself engulfed in the memories and longing to revisit that season of my life; I have yet to close those chapters of my life..at least, that's what I found.
Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so sensitive and stubborn. If I weren't, I think I would be building fun and exciting memories right as I speak. C'est La Vie. One day I will be happy again, one day I will look back on this blog post and smile.
Praying that I let go of the past, and press forth toward the future. Feeling really defeated today.
~Jay
Monday, April 11, 2011
Shea Moisture Product Review Pre-View
**THIS IS NOT A FULL REVIEW**Hello all you lovely people. If you didn't already know, I am a "natural hair junkie". What I mean is that I am completely obsessed with Afro Kinky hair in its "natural state". I obsessively read product reviews and watch YouTube videos trying to find new ideas on how to style and take of my natural hair. So, I've decided to kind of bring this obsession to my personal blog. :)
For this particular post I will be doing a mini product review of the products from the Shea Moisture Product line. Yes, I have decided to jump on the Shea Moisture bandwagon, lol. I purchased them from my local Walgreens at a cost of $9.99 each (various sizes, details below.)
The products I will be reviewing are the following
Organic Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo 12 fl oz/355 mL for $9.99
Organic Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner 12 fl oz/355 mL $9.99 Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie 12 oz/340g $9.99 Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Hold & Shine Moisture Mist 8 fl oz/237 mL $9.99 About the products
Apparently they are all Paraben, Phthalate, Paraffin, Gluten Propylene Glycol, Mineral Oil, Synthetic Fragrance, PABA, Synthetic Color, DEA, and Animal free. Whoa! That was a mouth full. I honestly can not tell you what all that is supposed to mean except that it's extra organic. I personally don't care whether a product is organic or inorganic, but for those of you who care that was for you. Collectively they include ingredients such as Sea Kelp, Argan Oil,Shea Butter, Coconut Oil, Silk Protein and Neem Oil.
Pre-View Review
Before I begin, let me say that I've only been able to use these products a few times, but so for, so good. The Moisture Retention Shampoo does NOT lather, which I'm not too fond about. The Restorative Conditioner is nothing special. It made my hair feel clean. I can't say that I liked the feeling. It's a far cry from my trusty Biotera Revitalizing Conditioner I will say this though, after washing and conditioning, my hair looked really shiny and healthy. As for the Curl Enhancing Smoothie, it enhances not ONE curl, BUT it makes my hair feel very soft to the touch. It only lasted for half a day though :/. I used it on a chunky twits out. The Moisture Mist definitely has a hold factor because its kind of sticky. I think I will use it for my mini-twists, this month and see if it really does keep up the twists.
Over all I am satisfied with my purchases. I will continue to uses these products for at least one month. That way, I can give a better review. I can't' wait! Expect a full review a month from today.
Overall Rating: I give it a 7.5/10
Toodles!
~Jay
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Just Checking In
My last post was a bit wordy and heady. So, I'll make this one light. I haven't been inspired so much. I guess I could tell you all about my day. It was rather easy going. I went to work and went to a mandatory food and beverage meeting. *yay* I was being sarcastic, lol. Anyway, after work I went to an open house for this Staffing Agency to find more information on available openings; it went well. :) You know, come to think of it, I started a blog post on paper while I was waiting. Oh! It was about my Jesus moment! But I'll save that for another post.
So I couldn't end this post without ending it with a random YouTube video. So, here's my "Favorite of the Week". It is thee most silly thing ever, and maybe even distasteful, but for some reason every time I watch it, it makes me burst into a sudden bout of uncontrollable laughter. Have a good one, beautiful people! Laugh a little!
Here it is: How you doooooin'!?!? If the Lord's been good lemme knooooww! Haha!
Kellen, if you happen to pass by, I promise, I ain't ya' stalker: "Mmmmmmmmmmmm..." LMBO!
~Jay
So I couldn't end this post without ending it with a random YouTube video. So, here's my "Favorite of the Week". It is thee most silly thing ever, and maybe even distasteful, but for some reason every time I watch it, it makes me burst into a sudden bout of uncontrollable laughter. Have a good one, beautiful people! Laugh a little!
Here it is: How you doooooin'!?!? If the Lord's been good lemme knooooww! Haha!
Kellen, if you happen to pass by, I promise, I ain't ya' stalker: "Mmmmmmmmmmmm..." LMBO!
~Jay
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