So here's a little update. As usual I've been doing my own thing in life. I'm so stubborn. Thank God for His Will and outstretched hand on my life. To sum it all up, I haven't been humble. I've been rude to my parents, shutting out the rest of the world immersing myself into social networks (haha, counter intuitive, huh?,) tv-youtube, physical appearance--make up, and a myriad of other life follies that the devil distracts us with.
Interestingly, someone unlikely person called me out: my mother. Wow. What a shocker. She came to me in a calm fashion definitely not likened unto her normal approach. She told me that I needed to get humble and reconnect with God. Of course I didn't agree with everything she talked about, but she was definitely right about that.
Within the days to come, I had a conversation with a friend of mine. We were talking through IM (instant messaging) as usual. And he asked me how I was doing. Of course i automatically said. "I'm ok". But then, I started to rethink. In actuality, I wasn't ok. Sadly at the time, I was too numb to even notice that there was something wrong with me.
As we continued to talk, he took the time out to do what a Christian is supposed to do: To love and encourage. He suggested that we fast and pray together.
So, here I am fasting, praying, and allowing God to reveal Himself in His mighty power.
It's interesting how things are unfolding:
1. mother calls me out on my faults
2. friend encourages me to fast and pray about it
3. fasting and praying with my friend, aka reconnecting with God.
After the conversation with my mom I had no intentions of taking immediate actions, but clearly God had another plan and placed someone in my life at the right time to convince me otherwise. It feels good to reconnect with Abba.
I would end off in a scripture, but right now I can't. So here's a song that basically encompasses the way I feel and what my heart is singing.
Lyrics
So May time in my life
Have I tried to do it all by myself
but after numerous failures I realized
That the glory is due to God and no one else
I was runnin to and fro tryna make things happen (Slow down)
That's what I'd hear Him say until something bad happens (that turned my life upside down)
Or will I give up Jesus
It's all in your hands now Father
Do what you will with me, have your way
Chorus
Lord please keep me in your will
Lord help me to be still
I just wanna be available to you
I will do whatever you
You instruct me to do
I just wanna be available to you
Not once, not twice, not three times
Have i dropped the ball when i was on the line
But please believe the last time was the last time
Cuz I'm gonna let your will be done and not mine
Things have gotten better, the sun's a little brighter
Adn since I cast my cares on you I'll feel a little lighter
Now i can hold my head up high, stick my chest out
Because your will will surely be carried out (no doubt about it)
Chorus
Lord please keep me in your will
Lord help me to be still
I just wanna be available to you
I will do whatever you
You instruct me to do
I just wanna be available to you
I won't move, I'll wait (I'll still sit here and wait)
Until you show me the way (Lead me in the right direction)
The safest place (it's in the will of God)
Patiently I'll wait (Jesus)
Chorus
Lord please keep me in your will
Lord help me to be still
I just wanna be available to you
I will do whatever you
You instruct me to do
I just wanna be available to you
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